la reprise: re-opening

It’s day 3 of the studios reopening in New South Wales, and hence, my practice has moved home. This has prompted a fair few internal monologues on the nature of a solo home practice and the collective energy we draw from others – as well as habits and routines.

I’m sore! For 3 days my practice has been strong and intense, with much more effort than I have been putting in at home. The soreness surprises me, because I think of myself as someone who is quite capable of a consistent home practice and that has not really changed over the lockdown period. I thought I was doing a pretty good job! On reflection, I can see that my ability to be rigid with my self control and maintenance of habits does not necessarily extend to the ability to practice on my own for 3 months without losing any momentum.

Acknowledging that I became a bit tired, a bit lazy, a bit listless with the way I was doing my practice (due at least partly to various injuries) is difficult. I’m a good student. I show up. But I have to own that showing up is not always enough. 

It’s so, so much easier when you have a studio which practices in the Mysore setting, filled with people who practice alone and yet with you. It’s such a hard thing to explain if you have never been – but the environment is truly magical. The first morning we opened, every time I changed pose I could feel strength flowing into my limbs as if from the old wooden floor itself. As I listened to the concerted efforts and joyful quiet breathing of everyone around me, I realised it was their energy I was drawing from. Not just those in the room with me, but from every student there before me who had imbued the floorboards with their effort. To try is beautiful in and of itself. To try is to open yourself up for failure in the most honest, human way. That is what bonds you to everyone else in the room when you practice, and why it is so unique as an experience. You are alone and together in your striving. When you share that with other humans, you all do better than you would do alone. No matter how determined!

I don’t know quite how I would have come out of lockdown without a consistent practice (even if it lagged sometimes). I am sure I would be less healthy physically and mentally and I would probably have given in much more to destructive habits. A physical yoga practice is a form of meditation that I need to do before I can really sit down and do the “real meditation” or have those experiences that transcend the ordinary mind-state. Without that baseline established, my experiences of transcendent peace and joy and bliss have been patchy, transient or cyclical in nature. Mysore style practice has empowered me to create that baseline without any outside prompting or motivation. This is the first step in the climb up the mountain. It is a gift that can never be taken away once it is given, only enhanced by further practice – or alternatively, it will lie dormant for many years until you pick it up again.

The lockdown forced people to look at the dull routines and tiring, automatic parts of their lives and question how mandatory they really are. It asked the question – what do you want to do with your time? What is needed? What is joyful? What is essential to your growth?

There are many worries floating around about how the yoga community is going to recover from the lockdown commercially and sustainably. It might take a while for students to return in their old numbers. But I am confident that the forced reset, for many, will take the form of expansion and diving deeply into the kind of communities we all crave. It will take the form of personal empowerment, like the kindling of a small fire that once lit, cannot ever really be extinguished.